Nethra Palepu
In “Em and the Big Hoom”, author
Jerry Pinto spins a narrative surrounding what it is like to live with a
schizophrenic mother, from the perspective of his adolescent self. This book is
remarkably candid, witty, and unapologetic in its depiction of schizophrenia
and all that comes with it. As Sarin notes in his analysis of the book, Em and
the Big Hoom is not just a story about mental illness -- it is a story about
what it is to be a family, about being mentally ill while bearing the
responsibility of being a mother and a wife, and about the grief and
helplessness that comes with it all. Imelda (Em)’s adolescent son, the unnamed
narrator of this story, tries to deal with his own adolescent
experiences while simultaneously acting as a support-system, guide, friend, son, and even
parent to his schizophrenic mother. The book puts forward an unvarnished
account of what a life like this looks like, both from the perspective of Em as
well as her son.
The book narrates accurate depictions
of Em’s manic and depressive phases, the effects of her illness on herself and
her family, and the reality of therapy and medical treatments for a condition
like schizophrenia. Through a symptomatic lens, Em experiences frequent
hallucinations, has trouble thinking logically, has recurrently attempted
suicide, often talks in a disorganized manner, and doesn’t have an interest in
everyday activities like sex (She says: “Mad people don’t want sex. They kick
the sex drive out of you with those pills. No, even before that. There is so
much in your head that you can’t bear any distractions…”).
Pinto specifically talks
of his mother’s disorganized way of talking: “Conversations with Em could be
like wandering in a town you had never seen before, where every path you took
might change course midway and take you with it…”. The book also captures
quite a few instances of her hallucinations -- Em would hear voices in her
head, see people, and as a result, would be paranoid about “their” actions.
Several times, she would act according to what the voices “tell” her to do. For
example, the narrator attaches a note written by Em:
“I have to get you all out of here. If they come for us, they
must not get us all. [....] Go. Go away. Himself and I can manage. We’ll go
down together, in flames. We can take it. We’ve lived and loved. You haven’t.
[...] You must go. Soon. But wait for my birthday. And get me a Cadbury’s
chocolate. Cad equals Catholic. Bury all the Catholics. Don’t tell anyone.”
Here, we see that Em fully believes
her delusions and justifies her actions based on them. She is extremely
paranoid about the people in her head and believes that they are after her and her
family. Besides this, she instructs her son to “bury all the Catholics”, once
again, a delusion that only she understands. In a conversation with her son, Em
also talks about what her depression feels like and about her attempt at
committing suicide:
“After you were born, someone turned
on a tap. At first it was only a drip, a black drip, and I felt it as sadness.
I had felt sad before . . . who hasn't? [..]There is no drain. It’s like oil.
Like molasses, slow at first. Then one morning I woke up and it was flowing and
free and fast. I thought I would drown in it. I thought I would drown little
you, and Susan. So I got up and got dressed and went out onto the road and
tried to jump in front of a bus. I thought it would be a final thing, quick,
like a bang. Only it wasn’t.”
This, in my opinion, is one of the
rawest depictions of depression that I have come across. She feels trapped and overwhelmed by her sadness, like she is
drowning in it -- as depression often feels like. Her attempt at killing herself was not just to escape this
pervasive sadness, but to protect her children from it as well. This is also
something that struck me -- that Em often tries to “protect” her children from
herself, her illness, as well as from the people inside her head. We constantly
see her try to be a mother and a wife -- by her attempts at saving her family,
being there for them, and sometimes even apologising for “messing them up”.
Pinto also talks about an extremely
relevant “problem” that arises in interacting with a mentally ill person: the
blurring of the line between the individual’s personality and their illness.
Sarin, in his critique of the book, argues that when clinicians “reconstitute”
their patient’s story in order to diagnose them, symptomatic evidence as well
as individual characteristics of the patient tend to merge. This leads to what
he terms as “clinical impersonality”, which constitutes the lack of separation
between an individual’s personality and their disorder. Although this might specifically be
an issue from a clinical perspective, Pinto puts
forward a different narrative -- based on a more personal interaction with his
mother. He says that, sometimes, it is necessary to attribute the behaviour of
his mother to her illness purely for self-preservation.
“ “Thats not her, it’s her problem,”
Susan once said to me, when she found me weeping because of something Em had
said. It became a way of escaping the sharpness of her tongue and [...] a way
of escaping her as a person. We could always dismiss what she was saying as an
emanation of her madness, not an insult or a hurt or a real critique to be
taken seriously.”
Finally, the narrator talks about the
various kinds of medication and treatment methods that they have tried on his
mother. He feels that a lot of these medications are largely futile -- that they are aimed only at symptomatic relief, but underneath, nothing changes. Underneath,
his mother is still in almost a different universe that cannot be reached.
Em also undergoes Electro-Convulsive Therapy, returning almost as a different
person -- she has “nothing in her eyes”, a red burn mark on her head where the
electricity went, a brief loss in memory, and is essentially “a caricature of
herself”. The narrator expresses his dislike for forceful “treatments” of this
kind and strongly argues that his mother’s disorder is not something that can
be fully be cured. According to him, this is just how her brain is, through and
through -- this is an important perspective to consider when we look at the diagnosis and
treatment of mental illnesses.
Em and The Big Hoom, a book that
will make you laugh as much as it will make you cry, is a more than accurate portrayal of what it is like to be schizophrenic and to live with someone who is mentally ill. It brings forward necessary and relevant
ideas, ideas that are heavily contested in the field of psychology itself --
including what the “right” treatments are, if there are any at all.
Bibliography
Pinto, J. (n.d.). Em and the Big
Hoom. Aleph Book Company.
Sarin, A. (2013, October). Em and the Big Hoom: A book
review. Indian Journal of Psychiatry.
Frankenburg, F. R. (2018, March 16). Schizophrenia. (G. L.
Xiong, Editor) Retrieved November 30, 2018, from Medscape:
https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/288259-overview
Shirley M. Glynn, K. K. (n.d.). Recognizing the signs of
schizophrenia. Retrieved November 30, 2018, from American Psychological
Association: https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/recognizing-schizophrenia.aspx
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