Warning Signs of Suicide in Please Like Me

Svasti Dutta

(Trigger warnings: depression, suicide)

Also: spoiler alert!

Josh Thomas’s Please Like Me is one of few shows in mainstream media that takes care not to glamourize mental illness and suicide. An important storyline in the show is that of the protagonist’s mother, Rose, who attempts to take her life in the very first episode. As we follow the show over the next few seasons, we accompany her through therapy and a stay in a mental health facility, peppered with multiple suicide attempts. It’s in the penultimate episode of the fourth season that she kills herself. In spite of her history of mental illness, her suicide came completely out of the blue for her family. In the episode prior, her son and ex-husband had a conversation about how she seemed happier than she’d ever been, and how they thought that she was in a good place. It seems surprising that her family didn’t notice any warning signs leading up to her suicide; hence, the aim of this blog post is to analyze Rose’s behaviour leading up to her final attempt, in order to determine if there were, in fact, warning signs that people were oblivious to. 

The first thing to be noted is that Rose meets multiple risk factors for suicidality (Parekh, 2018). She was mentally ill and had previously attempted to take her life on 3 occasions. In fact, based on DSM V, Rose could probably also be diagnosed with Suicidal Behaviour Disorder, which is often comorbid with her other diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). Bipolar Disorder itself is associated with a high rate of suicide attempts (Read, 2019). These observations definitely make Rose more prone to suicidal behaviour. However, in addition to these risk factors, it is also important to pay attention to her recent behaviour for warning signs. 

The warning signs for suicidality can include emotional markers, verbal markers, and behavioural markers (Smith, 2019). From the start of season 4 up until her suicide, Rose displays each of these in some way or the other. 

In retrospect, Rose was moody throughout the season; an important emotional marker (Smith, 2019). In the first episode, we see her adamantly cleaning the house and throwing things out, seeming very restless. In the next episode, she’s quite low, and pretends to be asleep while ignoring her son’s call. While her depressed mood could be a symptom of her illness, it is also considered an emotional marker (Smith, 2019). She didn’t join her son and their friends for her housemate’s birthday, which shows self-isolating behaviour (Smith, 2019).  She didn’t seem to have the energy to clean up the mess around the house (unlike the previous episode), and didn’t even crack a smile while listening to her son’s peppy voicemail. The third episode onwards is when we see Rose being irritable, especially towards her housemate, Hannah. Such unexpected rage is also a warning sign of suicidality (Goldberg, 2018). She felt ignored and belittled by both Hannah and her son, and seems to feel like a burden on her loved ones, an emotional marker of suicidality (Smith, 2019). A while later, she runs away from home; a sign of impulsive behaviour (Smith, 2019). She eventually confronts Hannah, but this leads to the latter deciding to move out. This is the first time Rose lives on her own since the start of the show, because Josh moved in with Rose after her first suicide attempt. The reason why she wasn’t supposed to be living on her own was because her mental illness had made it unsafe. This seems like a glaring warning sign—that Rose lacked immediate social support at the time when she decided to take her life, because she was living on her own (Purcell et al., 2012). 

The fourth episode shows an entirely different side of Rose. She’s calm (for the first time the entire season), and looks much happier than usual. Sudden calmness after a long period of moodiness can be a warning sign, an indication that the person has made the decision to end their life (Goldberg, 2018). Also, she makes amends with Hannah via text, and tells her son how much she loves him, and that she’s proud of him. She also expresses her love for her ex-husband, and even kisses him before she leaves. All this seems like she’s making preparations and saying goodbye to her loved ones (Goldberg, 2018). Furthermore, when her body is found, there’s a suicide note saying “JOSH” in her hand, which shows that the attempt was planned (unlike her earlier attempts). Hence, there must have been warning signs to look out for, since she had actively made the decision to end her life (Goldberg, 2018). 

In conclusion, it certainly seems like Rose’s actions and emotions over the course of the season were indicative of her suicidality. However, perhaps these are assessments that are easier to make in retrospect; to blame her family for not noticing the warning signs would simply be hindsight bias on our part. In any case, it’s good to see a show depicting mental illness so realistically, rather than just passing suicide off as a plot arc for higher ratings. 

References:

1. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
2. Goldberg, J. (2018). Recognize the Warning Signs of Suicide. Retrieved 25 October 2019, from https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/recognizing-suicidal-behavior#1
3. Parekh, R. (2018). Suicide Prevention. Retrieved 25 October 2019, from https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/suicide-prevention
4. Purcell, B., Heisel, M. J., Speice, J., Franus, N., Conwell, Y., & Duberstein, P. R. (2012). Family connectedness moderates the association between living alone and suicide ideation in a clinical sample of adults 50 years and older. The American journal of geriatric psychiatry : official journal of the American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry, 20(8), 717–723. doi:10.1097/JGP.0b013e31822ccd79
5. Read, K. (2019). Warning Signs to Be Aware of in Suicidal Bipolar Patients. Retrieved 25 October 2019, from https://www.verywellmind.com/red-flags-warning-signs-of-suicide-379034
6. Smith, K. (2019). Suicide Warning Signs: What to Look Out For. Retrieved 25 October 2019, from https://www.psycom.net/suicide-warning-signs