Skip to main content

Lying to our therapists: Yes, I’m feeling better!

Moksha Pasricha

Remedial Blog Post

Lying to our therapists: Yes, I’m feeling better!


The whole point of going to a physician, a therapist, a gynecologist, a physiotherapist, etc. is basically to get better – to get help so you can feel better. So then why do we hide information, sometimes by not volunteering enough and sometimes by outright lying when asked a question. I, myself, have told my physiotherapist that my shoulder is feeling better just because I was tired of coming to her clinic every day. Many young adults lie to their doctors about alcohol intake and sexual activity possibly because of the lack of belief in confidentiality and a safe space. People also lie to their doctors about feeling better – maybe to make the doctor feel better about themselves? There could, therefore, be a multitude of reasons why we lie to our doctors.

In an article on Psychology Today, Dr. Ryan Howes discusses the issues with lying to our therapists. He makes an interesting analogy about taking your car to the mechanic and asks if you would lie to the mechanic and say that your car is fine, or it’s working when it really isn’t – the obvious answer here is no, you took the car to the mechanic to get the problem fixed and telling the mechanic the problem is the fastest and safest way to achieve that goal. He then iterates that we should apply this same obvious logic to our interactions with medical professionals and says that telling them the problem is the way to achieve our goal of getting better. He argues that not only does lying to your therapist delay your better mental health but also is just a frivolous waste of time, money and energy – for both you and your therapist. He talks to researcher Matt Blanchard to try and decipher why we lie to our therapists – Blanchard gives us some statistics about a study he conducted to see how much lying to your therapist really takes place. In a study of 547 patients, 93% reported recalling an instance of having lied to their therapist about a particular instance. They also found that 72.6 percent of people recalled having lied about something in regard to the therapy itself – like finding therapists recommendations useful, or how much therapy is actually helping them. They also found that lying by omission was three times more likely than lying by fabrication and minimizing the truth was 6 times more likely than exaggerating. Another interesting point that Blanchard brings up is that the weaker the alliance between the patient and the therapist, the more likely it is that the patient lies to the therapist. This aspect, according to me, is particularly relevant in the Indian context – because of lack of proper training to create the perfect balance in the relationship between the patient and the therapist. It is extremely vital to create a space of confidentiality, a place which is safe and non-judgmental for a positive and honest exchange between the therapist and patient. It is important to create a balance so as to make sure that the patient feels comfortable enough to share their problems and experiences but still maintain a safe distance and not overstep the boundaries of being a therapist and walk in to the domain of going beyond that as a friend. Another aspect that is particularly relevant to the Indian context, is the aspect of upholding confidentiality and a no judgement space. A common fear, especially among adolescents and young adults is that since the person paying the therapist is a parent or guardian – the allegiance of the therapist lies with the parent. This, then, leads to a fear of breach of confidentiality which discourages young adults and adolescents from sharing their problems and experiences with the therapist. A bad experience of judgement from a therapist may also dissuade patients from telling the truth and seeking help from the therapists. The only way to deal with this issue and make it easier and safer for the patients to confide in their therapists is to train therapists better. This will enable the bond between the therapist and the patient to break the barriers of these issues and ensure a safe space for therapy sessions.

References: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/in-therapy/201610/why-people-lie-their-therapists


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hardin's trauma

“After”, is a 2019 teen romantic drama directed by jenny gage that revolves around the love of  Tessa, an inexperienced teenage girl, with Hardin, a mysterious ‘bad boy’ . Hardin, the main male character, never had a secure relationship with his father. When Hardin was young, his father used to be an alcoholic with a lot of debt. When he was just eight years old, intruders broke into his home looking for his father for money, however, there was only Hardin and his mother. The intruders forced themselves on Hardin’s mother, and Hardin, who was sleeping then, came downstairs to see what was wrong. To Hardin’s shock, his mother was being raped by three men, one by one. Hardin’s mother told him to leave, however, one man forced him to watch everything.  I would assume that Hardin has PTSD as a result of this incident, and in this paper I will try to prove it. Symptoms of PTSD and scenes that prove Hardin had it: The person subsequently re-experiences the event through both intrusive memori
Post a Comment
Read more

Disorderly Delvian: A Deep Dive into "Anna Delvey" through the Lens of NPD

       A markedly thick accent, a mop of blonde hair, a magical array of unimaginably expensive clothing, and an air of calculated mystery mesh uncomfortably together to invent Anna Delvey, the centre of Netflix’s appropriately named documentary/drama series, “Inventing Anna”. This series tells or rather retells the fascinating story of how one woman deceived the creme de la creme of New York society as well as some prestigious financial institutions under the guise that she was a wealthy heiress from Germany. The series follows a journalist, Vivian Kent, as she tries to uncover the carefully constructed web of lies Anna spun around high society after her arrest, heavily interspersed by flashbacks, present-day court hearings, and interviews with the enigma herself (Shondaland, 2022). Anna as a character, infused with a troubling reality and a dramatised narrative, presents an interesting scope to study the symptomatology of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as presented in her behaviou
Post a Comment
Read more

The Psychological Depth of Good Will Hunting

Shorya Sehgal Good Will Hunting revolves around the interaction of two rebellious characters, Sean Maguire and Will Hunting, who, to a certain extent, help each other to conform slightly. Will is a brilliant but troubled, young adult. He suffers from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), inferiority complex, defence mechanisms and attachment disorder. A mathematical genius, Will had a complete disrespect for authority and for his own considerable talents. As the story progressed, I was able to see Will’s personal growth as he developed an extremely strong relationship with his therapist, Sean. Sean had fought his own battles in life which had made him tough. This significantly helped Will and Sean to connect to each other on a deep, emotional level. What struck me the most in the movie is how coherently Will's journey is tied together. His transition from an inexpressive, troubled young guy to a mature and responsible one is shown very exquisitely. By the end, he was able to be
Post a Comment
Read more