Skip to main content

Lying to our therapists: Yes, I’m feeling better!

Moksha Pasricha

Remedial Blog Post

Lying to our therapists: Yes, I’m feeling better!


The whole point of going to a physician, a therapist, a gynecologist, a physiotherapist, etc. is basically to get better – to get help so you can feel better. So then why do we hide information, sometimes by not volunteering enough and sometimes by outright lying when asked a question. I, myself, have told my physiotherapist that my shoulder is feeling better just because I was tired of coming to her clinic every day. Many young adults lie to their doctors about alcohol intake and sexual activity possibly because of the lack of belief in confidentiality and a safe space. People also lie to their doctors about feeling better – maybe to make the doctor feel better about themselves? There could, therefore, be a multitude of reasons why we lie to our doctors.

In an article on Psychology Today, Dr. Ryan Howes discusses the issues with lying to our therapists. He makes an interesting analogy about taking your car to the mechanic and asks if you would lie to the mechanic and say that your car is fine, or it’s working when it really isn’t – the obvious answer here is no, you took the car to the mechanic to get the problem fixed and telling the mechanic the problem is the fastest and safest way to achieve that goal. He then iterates that we should apply this same obvious logic to our interactions with medical professionals and says that telling them the problem is the way to achieve our goal of getting better. He argues that not only does lying to your therapist delay your better mental health but also is just a frivolous waste of time, money and energy – for both you and your therapist. He talks to researcher Matt Blanchard to try and decipher why we lie to our therapists – Blanchard gives us some statistics about a study he conducted to see how much lying to your therapist really takes place. In a study of 547 patients, 93% reported recalling an instance of having lied to their therapist about a particular instance. They also found that 72.6 percent of people recalled having lied about something in regard to the therapy itself – like finding therapists recommendations useful, or how much therapy is actually helping them. They also found that lying by omission was three times more likely than lying by fabrication and minimizing the truth was 6 times more likely than exaggerating. Another interesting point that Blanchard brings up is that the weaker the alliance between the patient and the therapist, the more likely it is that the patient lies to the therapist. This aspect, according to me, is particularly relevant in the Indian context – because of lack of proper training to create the perfect balance in the relationship between the patient and the therapist. It is extremely vital to create a space of confidentiality, a place which is safe and non-judgmental for a positive and honest exchange between the therapist and patient. It is important to create a balance so as to make sure that the patient feels comfortable enough to share their problems and experiences but still maintain a safe distance and not overstep the boundaries of being a therapist and walk in to the domain of going beyond that as a friend. Another aspect that is particularly relevant to the Indian context, is the aspect of upholding confidentiality and a no judgement space. A common fear, especially among adolescents and young adults is that since the person paying the therapist is a parent or guardian – the allegiance of the therapist lies with the parent. This, then, leads to a fear of breach of confidentiality which discourages young adults and adolescents from sharing their problems and experiences with the therapist. A bad experience of judgement from a therapist may also dissuade patients from telling the truth and seeking help from the therapists. The only way to deal with this issue and make it easier and safer for the patients to confide in their therapists is to train therapists better. This will enable the bond between the therapist and the patient to break the barriers of these issues and ensure a safe space for therapy sessions.

References: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/in-therapy/201610/why-people-lie-their-therapists


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Burari Deaths: The Psychopathology of Lalit, a Biopsychosocial Perspective

Pankhudi Narayan Blogpost 1  TW: Death, mentions of suicide.         On July 1st of 2018, eleven members of a family were found dead in their shared home in the Burari area of Delhi. The deaths seemed to be fashioned in a ritualistic manner and evidence suggested that the family members were willing participants. This was the Bhatia family, a typical middle-class Indian joint family. Bhopal Singh who had passed away and his wife Narayani Devi formed the older generations of the family and were Lalith’s parents. The most compelling evidence in the uncovering of the events that led to the death of an entire family was provided by eleven diaries found by authorities. The diaries described the events that transpired before the deaths, discussing a ritual that needed to be conducted and the diary entries were corroborated by the post mortem findings as the accounts were found to be consistent with injuries (Yadav et al., 2021). It was uncovered that Lalit, a member of the family who was the
Post a Comment
Read more

Made in Heaven: An analysis of Faiza Naqvi

Vyoma Vijai Blog Post 3 ‘Made in Heaven’ is a popular Indian web series created by Zoya Akhtar and Reema Kaagti and was launched in March 2018. The show gained a lot of attention in the first few days of it coming out. It is a bold show that focuses on marriage practices in the rich and elite class of Delhi. The show focuses on the social issues and practices that are often not spoken of or are kept closeted. These issues include homosexuality, dowry, molestation and other questionable Indian customs. The story follows the lives of multiple characters at the same time. The two most important characters are Tara and Karan who run a wedding planning agency.   Tara is married to a rich industrialist whose name is Adil and her best friend in the show is Faiza, played by Kalki Koechlin. This essay analyses Faiza’s character and her role in this web series. Faiza is a complex character to understand. Her actions make it hard for the viewers to decide whether they l
Post a Comment
Read more

Disorderly Delvian: A Deep Dive into "Anna Delvey" through the Lens of NPD

       A markedly thick accent, a mop of blonde hair, a magical array of unimaginably expensive clothing, and an air of calculated mystery mesh uncomfortably together to invent Anna Delvey, the centre of Netflix’s appropriately named documentary/drama series, “Inventing Anna”. This series tells or rather retells the fascinating story of how one woman deceived the creme de la creme of New York society as well as some prestigious financial institutions under the guise that she was a wealthy heiress from Germany. The series follows a journalist, Vivian Kent, as she tries to uncover the carefully constructed web of lies Anna spun around high society after her arrest, heavily interspersed by flashbacks, present-day court hearings, and interviews with the enigma herself (Shondaland, 2022). Anna as a character, infused with a troubling reality and a dramatised narrative, presents an interesting scope to study the symptomatology of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as presented in her behaviou
Post a Comment
Read more